I am beyond proud to introduce my very funny friend, Oklahoman, blogger and bestselling author, Heather Davis as a guest on Delta Moxie today. I met Heather at the Arkansas Women Bloggers Conference in 2012 and I am moved beyond words that she calls me a friend. She even thinks I’m funny. Remember when I was a guest on her site and shared the story of me running out of gas at the casino? And check my post today on Minivan Momma of my favorite things. When I scanned the room and saw her at this year’s conference, I shouted, “Minivan Momma is in the house.” Show Heather some Delta love and enjoy her hilarious point of view.
My cousin Winifred was an older single, modern Southern Belle and had a southern drawl as big as her vocabulary. I recall the year she declared (she never said anything—she always declared it), “I was relieved of the responsibility of ownership of my citizen’s band radio when it was removed without permission from the rear storage compartment of my Mercedes Benz while it was secured in the garage for servicing.”
Anyone else would have said that her CB got jacked from her trunk down at Junior’s Garage when he was changin’ out her plugs.
But her vocabulary matched her education. As refined as she was as a southern lady, she was well-respected as an astute business woman. She was a trailblazer for females in the telecommunications industry, retiring as a vice president for Bell South. She was a modern woman and a southern lady—Winifred was the whole package.
Even as a child, I had a tendency to overshare, and I recall one occasion when I lamented a run in my hose. She quietly declared, “Oh, Heather, I don’t think you would want to repeat that in any other company ever again.”
Bless her heart, if Winifred were alive today, she’d have all kinds of whispered declarations to make to me:
Heather, do you think it wise to share with the world that you have taken pole-dancing classes just so you could dance for your husband in your bedroom?
I don’t believe that you should write about wearing scrubs in your role-playing escapades with Brian.
The whole world, Heather, doesn’t need to know about the characters you’ve encountered on your trips to the adult toy store.
But, Oklahoma is technically not part of the south—just ask any other southerner and they’ll tell you that Oklahoma is Indian Territory, not The South. Therefore, despite all the familial roots I have based in the south, I have been denied the decorum of a true southern lady.
So, I wrote all about those things. And then some.
TMI Mom: Getting Lucky is a sex book—I think I just heard Winifred gasp! It is not erotica. It is hysterical. Getting Lucky is a collection of true stories of my plight to bring sexy back to my husband’s and my life.
Did I really take pole-dancing classes? Watch me whip my hair.
Did I wear scrubs one night as foreplay? He wanted me to pretend to be a nurse, y’all.
What kind of characters did I meet at the adult toy store? I dubbed them Itchy and Scratchy, uh-huh.
This is not a book for Winifred, bless her heart, although I think she’d be proud of me for breaking the ground in writing a sex book that doesn’t actually contain sex details. I think she’d also applaud my glossary at the back of the book—she was a proponent of life-long learning. I also believe that she’d think it was fabulous that a woman made sexy into something funny. She did have a good sense of humor.
So while Winifred wouldn’t (and couldn’t, God rest her soul) enjoy Getting Lucky, you can! I know you can! If nothing else, you can relate to the antics of a tired couple just trying to get a little sumpin’ sumpin’ without falling asleep.
Heather Davis is a momma, a blogger but not a southern belle. She blogs at www.Minivan-Momma.com and her books are available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.
Link to Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/tmi-mom-heather-davis/1117521317?ean=2940148879367